As soon as our little one's start playing with toys, we tell them they have to share them. Even their most prized toys, the one's they never put down -- "You need to share that."
Why?
I've always disagreed with the notion of "sharing is caring." {Sorry Care Bears, nothing personal.} After all, what makes my son's love for, and wanting to protect his Lego set any less real than my wanting to protect my laptop. I've never understood why as parents we put expectations and requirements on our children that we would never expect or require of ourselves.
In my child's eyes, that plastic toy is just as valuable as my laptop.
I'm not saying that sharing isn't a nice thing to do. I'm not saying that children shouldn't understand what it means to share. But it should be done when the person doing the sharing actually wants to. It shouldn't be a demand. And quite honestly, if you lead by example, your child will follow.
My children see examples of sharing everyday:
Sharing with neighbors: Can I borrow your vacuum. Mine just broke.
Sharing with friends: I have an event this weekend and I have nothing to wear. Can I borrow that sweater of yours.
Sharing with your spouse: I just made the best sandwich...would you like half.
Sharing with your child: Want to split the last apple with me.
Trust your child's own comfort levels. Recently a friend stopped by with her two-year old son. He immediately gravitated towards my son's Lego truck. My son casually walked over, politely took it from the two-year old and said, "Sorry, this is for ages 5 and up." I didn't make him give the two-year old the truck back. And I didn't make excuses for why my son took the toy. I thought he did a great job explaining that himself. Basically he was saying, that's mine, I really like it, and you're too young to play with it.
He's right. I trust my children's own comfort levels.
Immediately after taking the Lego truck away, my son ran up to his room and found a different truck that he didn't mind the two-year old playing with. And guess what, the child liked it even better.
Trust. Respect. Step back.
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